Your bridal party: who’s in and who’s out?

So you’ve booked the church, the venue for the wedding reception, and the guest list is shaping up well. But now it’s time to choose the bridal party – to decide who’s in and who’s out without alienating family and friends. Good luck!

The bridal party


Family and friends to give support

A bridal party can be very large or very small, depending on the size of the wedding, although there are always exceptions. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West had over 200 guests at their May wedding, but only five bridesmaids and five groomsmen. Quite restrained!

The traditional bridal party includes parents and, in some cases, grandparents, as well as the officiant of the ceremony. So far so good! It’s choosing your attendants that has the potential to cause World War III!

What I would stress is that whomever you select, make sure that they are people who will give you unconditional support on your big day. So here are three questions for you:

Family commitments. Do you have siblings or other relatives whom you should include in the wedding party?

Close friends. How many do you and your fiancé want to stand beside you?

Reciprocity commitment. Is there a certain friend or relative whom you haven’t seen for ages, but you were in their bridal party?


Matching up numbers

Once you’ve answered these questions and made your decision, remember to match the bridesmaids’ numbers with groomsmen.

This caused a bit of a dilemma for Jill and Alan. He has three brothers, all of whom he wants as groomsmen, with good friend John as best man and ring bearer. Jill has only one sibling, yours truly, and I have already opted out of the bridal party… You can’t mastermind the whole day and be worried about picking up someone’s train!

Kate and Pippa Middleton

So Jill will have life-long friend Ann as her matron of honour, Alan’s sister Mary and our cousin Ruth as bridesmaids and Mary’s daughter June as flower girl. I think the official bridal party photo will be lovely, don’t you?

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